Thursday, April 1, 2010

Apologies, Forgiveness, Trust

Recently, I have been pondering the issue of wrong doing. Most people do something wrong, say they are sorry and go about their business. In small cases, this is usually accepted and life goes on. In others, such as a public forum, or when the wrong doing results in severe consequences, the wrong doing becomes huge, overwhelming, and difficult for both the person who did the wrong doing and the person who was wronged. When a person apologizes, are they sorry for being caught, or are they truly sorry for what they did? How can they prove they are truly sorry for what they did? How can they show the person that they wronged that they can be trusted and they will never hurt them again? These are difficult questions and sometimes are not answered satisfactorily. Words don't mean a whole lot in this day and age and we have had very poor public examples of people who say they are sorry, but appear like they don't truly mean it. I was struck by this quote by Tiger Woods in his public apology on February 19, 2010. “As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over a period of time.” Whether this was "scripted" or not, I believe what Tiger said is a step in the right direction. Regret for wrong doing is not just expressed in words. It is shown in our behavior over a long period of time. It is not a quick fix. It is not easy. It takes effort. It may not prove to prevent the consequences of wrong doing. However, if one is really genuine and wants to make things right, it would be worth it. By the way, saying "I'm sorry" is not the same as asking forgiveness. Forgiveness implies that I have wronged you and I want you to know that I recognize that. Forgiveness is more about the one asking forgiveness then the one who grants it. In fact, the forgiveness may not even be granted but it is important to make the effort. This too, is hard. So, if you have done something wrong or have been wronged by someone, don't be discouraged. There is always hope in God and you can get back on track. What do you think?